Postcard German

“Postcard German” are little slices of German language learning, culture, and life that fit onto a 4×6 inch postcard – ideal for printing out and posting on your cubicle wall, but easy to stash away and rotate,

When I have to choose definite articles in German is like spinning the big prize wheel from The Price Is Right.
Bitte? If you have never witnessed an entire conversation carried out with the sole word "Bitte," my friend, then you have not yet lived.
Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitátenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeatengesellscheft is a real word in German.
Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften is a real word in German.
Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragunungsgesetz is a real word in German.
How different are German dialects really? Tricky question. Just don't ask.
In Germany, we don't say "I don't care,' We sayiDas is mir sowas von scheißegal." And I think that's BEAUTIFUL.
You know you're German when you can pronounce "tschechisches Streichholzschächtelchen"
Learning German is like dinosaurs roaming the swamp, each one ready to eat you.
German Flag Color Meanings: Black = work, Red = work, Gold = work, Blue = humor.
A flowchart to determine when to use "Du" or "Sie" to someone.
"Tja" - A German reaction to the apocalypse, Dawn of the Gods, an alien attack, or no bread in the house.
"Na" - An important German response to start a spontaneous conversation, to hear an entire life story, or to desperately try to escape a really ackward and absolutely coincidental meeting in the supermarket.
"Aha" - An important German reaction to pretend that you are really interested in something, but actually you couldn't give a shit about the stuff you're hearing from your conversation partner.
THE GERMAN CREATION STORY On the first day, God created "warum." On the second day, God created "wieso." On the third day, God created "wozu." On the fourth day. God created "wofür." On the fifth day, God created "weshalb." On the sixth day, God created "weswegen." On the seventh day, after being satisfied with His creation of SIX different ways of saying "WHY" with pretty much the same meaning, God laughed and laughed... and then He rested.
ME SPEAKING GERMAN TO A GERMAN Me: Um... hast du...der... ah, fuck. German: It's okay, friend. Learning a second language is difficult, but with enough practice and time you acquire the vernacular and colloquialisms to communicate in a concordant matter vis-à-vis other Germans. I myself still struggle with the endeavor of mastering the English language, ergo, I hope I have articulated myself in a proper a manner. Me: Me: Me: Fahrrad.
Germany, which has many many German flags versus Gerfew, which has only a few.
TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM TODAY, BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT. BUT SHOUT IT AT THEM IN GERMAN, BECAUSE LIFE IS ALSO TERRIFYING: "ICH LIEBE DICH!"
Condolences to Germans on having to process and convey the uncomfortable emotion of joy.
You can't interrupt a German. Ever. They're usually not going to finish telling you the verb until the end of the sentence, so you don't know enough about what they will have said until they've finished.

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